About RTÉ Television
The Afternoon Show
The Afternoon ShowRTÉ One, Weekdays, 4.00pm

Start Again in 2010 - Boosting Self Confidence

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

John O'Connell Health and Fitness Coach:-

Along with his numerous exercise and health qualifications John is a licensed Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Practitioner and Life Coach. John's ability to motivate and inspire others is outstanding. He has helped transform the lives of others not just through training but through his unique style of mental training using his NLP coaching skills.

Eireann Mannion

She is a first time Mum to Fiachra who was born on 6th October 2009. She feels that since having the baby and putting on weight she has lost her confidence. Her stomach and arms are the problem areas for her and she really wants to change them. Her weight gets her down.

You talked about in your introduce VT about lacking in self confidence, why is this do you think?
I think I lack in self confidence because I have just never liked my body and I'm extremely conscious about it even when I was slim I felt fat. I'm also extremely paranoid and think people are constantly saying horrible things about me when I'm around them even if they're not. I think I've always had this issue I don't really know why, but I always fought it and put up a front. At one point my self confidence plummeted I couldn't even go to the shop or get a bus on my own until recently because the thought of people looking at me was awful.

Are there any particular situations that make you feel uncomfortable?

When I'm out I hate being the new person in a group of people I'm constantly biting my nails and rarely make eye contact for example Johns boot camps, when I first went I nearly died with embarrassment I was almost shaking because I knew I was new and people would be looking at me.

When you feel like this how do you cope with it?
I normally giggle or pretend I'm really confident and that I don't care. I never make eye contact and don't really make conversation unless someone talks to me first then I always respond as much as I can but I just keep my head down until somebody does speak to me.

Are you good at taking compliments? If someone was to say something nice to you how would you respond?
No, just get embarrassed.
Is there one thing you would like to change about yourself?
I would love to be able to walk into a room and not be terrified about what people think of me. I worry about every word I say incase I offend someone and I just want to able to have naturally flowing conversations; to be able to get on the bus and not feel embarrassed; just more confidence all round!

How did you get on with John the other day?
I got on grand, he took me threw some techniques to help me in situations where I need confidence he mad me picture myself really confident standing in a square with a bright colour around me and then made me step into that square which left me feeling super confident.

John O'Connell:

Why is it do you think that people have low self-confidence?
In most cases people have low self-confidence because they don't respect themselves enough. This can be due to a number of reasons like traumatic experiences in the past, bullying, bad relationships etc However there are certain situations that we will be more confident in than others. Someone may have all the confidence in the world when at a party but ask them to make a speech in public and they freeze.

What things can people do to reverse this?
1. Change your physiology - Posture, body language etc Think about how a confident person holds themselves
2. Change your thoughts - Focusing on the negative all the time will only get you more negativity
3. Think about who you know or admire that has the confidence you want. Write out a list of all the confidence characteristics you want.

What things should we avoid doing to help boost our confidence?
I would imagine there is a fine line between confident and arrogant. Never try to look confident at the expense of someone else; truly confident people rarely try to show off their confidence. They seem to have a quiet confidence or an air about them without being over the top.

I read somewhere about people's inability to accept compliments, why do you think this is?
It can be due to a number of reasons. They may not have the confidence to believe the compliment; they may think that accepting the compliment might be seen as arrogant. However if someone does pay you a compliment the best thing to do is say thank you, accept it and return a compliment back.

What things did you do with Eireann?
We talked about her perception of other people. She used to think that others are judging her and thinking bad of her. What I helped her realise is that she can't read minds. She can't know for sure what others are thinking. I also helped her realise that most people are thinking about themselves rather than someone else. Most people are too worried about what they look like and how they come across than someone else.

Disclaimer: The training programmes and nutrition being outlined by John O'Connell for the 3 Mums in Start Again in 2010 is specifically tailored for the individuals taking part. In no way is this a generic programme and you should always consult with your GP before following any of the advice outlined on the show or via the website, facebook etc.

Additional / Misc' Info:
To contact John O'Connell:
Ph: 086 171 5532
Website: or