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Laws of Attraction: David Kavanagh- Family Therapist

Friday, 15 January 2010

How to win a guy or a girl in 1 day

David Kavanagh - Relationship Consultant

Advice for Women

If a woman is on the hunt for a man to have a relationship what should she do?

DO Wear: A classic red dress, just above the knee, showing the arms, but not too much cleavage. There is a line to how much cleavage is tasteful. Red is the most appealing colour, far more than black, which is a very common choice by Irish women. The skirt should not be too short or tight. If a woman wears a tight short dress, it might give the signal that she is too good-looking, unapproachable or high maintenance.
An example of what not to wear is Mariah Carey - all legs and cleavage - too much. When a girl dresses overly-sexually it can be related to having been deprived of affection from their father when the girl was small.

DO Flick: Hair - If a woman twirls her hair, some men think it means they like them, where actually it means the woman is distracted or thinking of something else. However if she pulls her hair back with her right hand back from the left side, and flicks it over to the other side, revealing the side of her neck it is a come on, as she is revealing the most sensual part of the body and this shoots pheromones to the man who gets aroused by the neck reveal. She is also revealing her under arm / armpit which is another pheromones area! A man will think: " Good God I'm in there!"

DON'T sit behind a table. Sit up at the bar or stand in a walkway, not next to the toilets - inappropriate! This way it makes it easier for men to approach you. It's ok to talk to people at a bar, natural way of starting a conversation. Have open body language, don't cross your legs/arms, look friendly, open but not easy. 85% of what we communicate is through our bodies so have an open body language. If you're talking to GUY A but facing your feet towards GUY B then you fancy GUY B!

DON'T wink! A man will think you want to go to bed with him straight away! Like now!

DO smile/say hello: 75% of all relationships are started by a female saying hello or initiating contact.

DO let the man feel he is leading the conversation. The Male Ego is fragile and needs to feel the woman is enthralled by everything the man says! If he is talking too much about himself, that's not good, he should be keen to find out about you as well as talk about himself. He should make you laugh.

Do hold your glass of wine down at your waist level, don't block an approach by carrying it up near your face/neck - negative signal.

**Being tactile: If a woman is being tactile with a man, he often thinks she fancies him whereas she is probably just being friendly, and creating a rapport, that she likes the man, but possibly as a friend.

**Eye Contact: If a girl likes a guy she is more likely to look at him, then look down at the ground as if she has been caught then look up again as she is being a bit shy. If she stares she is probably just trying to figure out of she knows you or why are you wearing that jumper? Is she smiles it's a good sign, it means she likes you, 90% of people smile back when someone smiles at them - a socially conditioned auto response.

Sexual attraction is the most important factor, after that also very important is that you like them and have a good connection as people. The biological impulse is the most important element as this is what gets and binds people together, keeps the human race going. The fact that you like them as a friend as well should come second. That can grow though, whereas attraction rarely does.

A woman sizes a man up immediately, how he is dresses, his status etc, with one quick scan.

For the men:

Do dress well to show a good status. Not a trendy pair of baggy jeans and a white t-short unless you're very young or are a hip hop star, or scummily like Pete Doherty. Wear a nice shirt and jeans, long sleeves, not too formal. A woman finds a man of status attractive. Black and white are good colours, they convey "I'm in charge!". No shorts!

A man looks a woman up and down but is not as perceptive as a woman.
When you approach a group of girls talk to them all equally to see who you like. Talk to the girl you fancy least more so that her friend(s) get jealous, then talk to the one you like more.

Don't get drunk: hit on a girl when drunk. Only have one or 2 before you go up to a girl.

Peacocking : When a man or group of men see an attractive girl walking by they generally act more boisterous and start acting up! Girls often like this, it gets their attention. This is Peacocking.

Men use preening gestures when they like a girl, stand up straighter, fix their collars, brush their hair, go to the bathroom to freshen up, spray with Lynx!

Best Chat up line : Hi I'm Dave what's your name?

DO be charming and interested.

¾ of men Dave surveyed wanted a relationship not a one night stand.