Search for Happiness With Life Coach Nina Grunfeld

Monday, 26 January 2009

Finding the January Blues hard to shift? Life coach Nina Grunfeld is in studio with more tips for a happier life.

Last week The Afternoon Show launched our new 'Search for Happiness' strand on Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year. Every Monday for four weeks we have life coach Nina Grunfeld in studio to give us tips on how to measure our happiness levels, and improve them in just four weeks. Last week two Afternoon Show viewers, Dot McAney and Glen Johnson, had their happiness levels measured by Nina, who then set them tasks

This week, Nina is back in studio to give us tips on how to boost our confidence. One of our case studies Glen Johnson is also back in studio, and we will be finding out how he got on over the last week. Nina set him some challenges for the week. First of all she asked him to keep a diary every day, noting the best thing that happened to him that day, anything he achieved that day, and anything he learned about himself. Next, as Glen enjoys creative writing as a hobby, we arranged for him to meet with best selling author Sheila O'Flanagan for tips on how to improve his writing, and possibly make a career out of it. Finally we arranged a one on one career coaching session with John Fitzgerald who runs Harmonics, a career coaching business.

Nina Grunfeld, life coach and founder of Life Clubs UK:
Nina Grunfeld is a 54 year old married mother of four who lives in Westminster. The child of two loving but critical refugees who divorced when she was young, Nina was prone to wild behaviour which led to her expulsion from St Paul's Girls' School in west London, making her feel worthless.

Although she has always wanted to help others, her early career involved graphic design and publishing. Her most notable success was Nanny Knows Best, the book and television series based on the wisdom of Nanny Smith, who had cared for her as a child. But, after her last baby was born seven years ago, Nina decided to spend more time with the family and took a course in life coaching.

Nina says that life coaching 'is a way of learning about yourself, becoming more confident, understanding your motivation'. She founded Life Clubs UK, an affordable chain of life coaching workshops which take place around the UK.
She is also the best selling author of books 'The Big Book of Me' and 'The Big Book of Us'.

Why is confidence so important to happiness?
When you feel confident you trust your own abilities. You are positive, but realistic about your situation, and generally feel in control of your life. You understand that, within reason, you can do anything you want. Even when something goes wrong, you remain positive and aren't too hard on yourself.
When you feel self confident you don't have to have approval in order to be accepted. You accept yourself.

Why are some people under-confident?
Some people confuse confidence with arrogance. They are afraid that confidence in themselves means bragging or showing off. However this isn't true confidence, in fact those who brag about their abilities are often the least confident. People with true confidence are genuinely modest about their achievements and abilities.

As an under-confident person, you probably won't try anything new or challenging, meaning you will never push yourself out of your comfort zone, or fail. Some people prefer this situation, as it means they never have to leave their comfort zone.

Finally, another 'benefit' or being under-confident is that other people will look after you. If you constantly say things like 'I'm hopeless at DIY' then your partner or a friend may offer to put your furniture together. If you say 'I'm terrible at sports' you are making an excuse for yourself, meaning you never have to push yourself out of your comfort zone by playing a sport, or don't have to take responsibility for yourself.

Nina's 5 top tips for confidence boosting:

1. Tap into things that have made you feel good before
When you last felt good, what did you enjoy? The 'A' Team or Rocky theme tune? A run in the park or a dance or a long nap? Do it. Find out what raises your energy and empowers you-and enjoy it.

2. Focus on positives
Rather than thinking of what you can't do, think of what you can do. OK, so you're not a champion snooker player, but you can play soccer. Avoid exaggerating your negatives. If you're not totally brilliant at something, it doesn't mean that you're a total failure

3. Act 'as if'
Just pretend. Imagine you'd written that book before you've written it and act as if you know how to. Look the part and act the part - wear tighter-fitting clothes as if you'd lost the weight. Don't wait. Up to a point we are all actors. Fake it until it becomes natural.

4. Don't get put off by small 'failures'
Go for plan B and notice what you're learning. It's so easy to start exaggerating from 'failures'. "I failed my driving test, so I'm a terrible driver". No, you just did something wrong, have another lesson and think about what you learnt from failing your test.

5. Notice what you are achieving
Back to keeping that diary of achievements again. You are brilliant - remember it.

To find out more about Harmonics career coaching, visit www.harmonics.ie