Directed by Joseph Kahn, starring Martin Henderson, Ice Cube, Monet Mazur, Matt Schulze, Jay Hernandez, Will Yun Lee, Jaime Pressley and Adam Scott.
Like David Fincher and Jonas Akerlund before him, Joseph Kahn is an acclaimed music video director now making the big jump to the big screen. If you manage to see a video on MTV, Kahn's include Eminem's 'Without Me', Britney Spears' 'Stronger' and Destiny's Child's 'Say My Name'. He has also popped up on the channel's 'Making the Video' programme - a good-natured guy who seems to be as excited about the video as the artist involved. The nicest thing you can say about 'Torque' is that Kahn has now made a 90-minute promo.
Racer Cary Ford (Henderson) goes on the run when two motorcycles he's minding for biker gang leader Henry James (Schulze) turn out to be filled with drugs. Returning from Thailand to set things straight, Ford reconciles with former girlfriend Shane (Mazur) but at the same time ends up on the wrong side of rival Trey (Ice Cube). And when the unhinged James kills Trey's brother and blames it on Ford, he must outsmart two biker gangs, the FBI, the police and figure out how to clear his name - twice.
It's the 'Fast and the Furious' on a saddle with no-one onscreen having the charisma of Vin Diesel and the script left flapping about on the highway as the bikes roar off into the distance. Inevitably, it's the machines on two wheels not those on two legs that turn out to be the best thing about this film - where the sound of revving engines is easier to listen to than the dialogue.
Kahn can do a decent set piece, but in terms of getting performances out of actors, he's still got his stabilisers on. Henderson and Mazur look good in leather but little else. Ice Cube's turn as the bad-but-actually-good Trey would have even the most over-the-top rapper accusing him of over-acting. Schulze, as the ludicrously named Henry James, is an honours graduate from the 'A-Team' school of screen menace and sports a mullet that would strike hilarity into the heart of even the most po-faced viewer.
No doubt 'Torque' will inspire fanaticism in a generation of young men willing to 'live the dream' - you just worry how many of them understand the role of stuntmen. A silly film to make - a far worse one to watch.