Directed by Marcus Adams, starring Alec Newman, Joe Absolom, Lara Belmont and Lucas Haas.
Whatever about warning kids about the dangers of ouija boards, someone should dispense the same advice to film directors. Getting a bunch of actors to stick their hands on a glass and then move it just isn't scary - especially when 'The Exorcist' defined the idea all those years ago. Still rookie helmer Marcus Adams presses on, with a houseload of students contacting the other side and then getting picked off for their troubles.
Turns out one of these waste's of taxpayer's money (Newman) has a bit of history with fire-breathing demons from beyond - given that his father murdered his mother during a heavy bout of glass moving years before. And as he battles to make sense of his past, the rest of the cast try to stay alive by going into dark houses, hanging around by themselves and generally breaking every other rule in the horror book.
There's really no need for the supernatural slant in 'Long Time Dead' given that the deaths follow conventional stalk and slash lines with only barbecue marks on the victim's backs distinguishing them from straight to video fare. Adams shows talent for set pieces from time to time but the whole thing feels rushed, as if the scriptwriters had to give their mate from upstairs back his laptop before sundown. The dialogue is poor and the character development even worse: with more personnel than S Club 7, the cast all blur into one and the only guesswork is trying to figure out which two will be left standing at the end.
'Long Time Dead' may get your date to jump into your lap - but it's more likely to be out of boredom than fear. Tonight could be the night lads.