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Let The Battles Commence

Published: 17/02/13

Lord knows it’s taken some time, but this week we’ve finally managed to peel those stinky six-week-old glad rags from the backsides of our four reluctant coaches. This week, Bressie, Jamelia, Kian and Sharon, alongside a few new friendly helpers, appeared freshly scrubbed, finely tuned and ready to fight The Battles with a whole new wardrobe and a kick-ass attitude.

First up was songstress-turned-actress Jamelia. “I’m not dealing with any shy girls,” the R’n'B guru quipped, as she and assistant coach – multi-platinum singing star Lemar – proceeded to show ‘em how it’s done. The White Stripe’s Seven Nation Army never sounded as funky as it did when it belted from the mouth of these uber-talented coaches backstage; not until Erica and Roisin hit the stage with a diva sing-off of their own, that is. Even persistent taunts from Bressie and Kian – “this is not Jeremy Kyle” – failed to take down Team Jamelia.

Meanwhile, Sharon Corr successfully managed to live up to her newly-formed reputation as a cougar. Teaming barely-legal teen Bob with 30-year-old stunner Tammy for a saucy onstage duet certainly made for a killer performance, even if young Bob seemed a little reluctant. “It’s creepy,” he later confessed. Kian, on the other hand, seemed intent on starting a fist fight between his first two performers, not to mention giving an earful to his fellow coaches on stage. Ooer!

For the all-important Battle shows, Bressie brought along showbiz buddy Jerry Fish to help with rehearsals and offer some much-need advice to aspiring hopefuls. However, the Dublin musician’s contributions may have fallen short of the overpowering glory of his ever-growing moustache. Team Kian’s cohort, Danny ‘McFly’ Jones, also threw a few digs when it came to a very tough call between Battle buddies Joey and Andy, while Royseven’s Paul Walsh pushed Madame Corr to step up with some less than popular feedback for Kian’s proteges. Yikes!

Oh yes, it’s a brand new battle ring and the gloves are well and truly off! So be sure to stock up on the crunchy nibbles and hot chocolate sachets, folks. This is one war that’s about to get downright dirty and impossibly entertaining.

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